is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
