Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
