Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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