I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
