Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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