This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
