Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize