we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
