part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
