Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
