Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
