Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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