My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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