i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
