Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
