dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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