i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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