She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
