I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize