Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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