Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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