Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
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I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
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Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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