I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
