i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
third nipple confirmed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
