Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
