HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
