Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
