you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
