dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
