Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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