I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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