When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I fill condoms, not promises.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
