Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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