It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
