Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
