wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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