you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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