found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
