I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
