Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
