I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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