Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
