So gin and wine won't be happening again
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize