Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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