i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
