Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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