is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
