Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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