woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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