just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
