Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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