i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize