Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize