i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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