i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
