He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
