Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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